Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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