Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
