I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I supernannyed him into submission
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
