i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
