I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i believe in u and ur pee
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
