I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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