i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
