He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
