I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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