I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
