apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
