'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
