she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
