Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
