you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
