Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
