erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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