This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
