then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
