Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
