"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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