hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
