Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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