Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
