you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
