So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
