Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
