I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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