shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
