You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
