drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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