Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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