You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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