totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
