You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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