I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
