quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
