You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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