His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
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