Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
