pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
