whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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