Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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