I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I am one with the molecules
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
