Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
