Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
