I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
