After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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