I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
worst night to have a conscience
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
