32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
