I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
